The 21 Most Important Dating Tips For Men

 Text versus call, hike versus drink, ask more or fewer questions… The ins and outs of dating can be very confusing for men these days. However, many of the tried and true dating tips never change. So in an effort to help out the fellas out there, we asked dating and relationship experts from across the board what the most important dating tips for men are.

Here’s their list of the top 21:

1. If you met someone in person, then ask for a date in person or on the phone.
“Don’t email or text to ask a woman out for the first time. The latter are impersonal, and dating is all about getting to know someone personally. It also sets a poor tone for the relationship’s communication dynamics.” – Erika Martinez, Psy.D. Licensed Psychologist
2. While online dating, don’t push too quickly to meet in person.
“For most women, online dating involves a certain level of risk and anxiety so spend time getting to know her online and through phone and video chats before suggesting meeting in person to ensure she feels comfortable.” – Dr. Wyatt Fisher, Clinical Psychologist
3. Take initiative.
“When you’re talking or texting while planning the date, as the guy always have a time and place in mind. You never want to get into one of those exchanges like… ‘What do you want to do? Oh I don’t know, what do you want to do?’ Be confident and make a recommendation.” – Radio Wright, Online Dating Expert
4. Make your first few dates in public.
“Make your first few dates in public and drive separately to let the lady know making her feel safe is your top priority.”- Dr. Wyatt Fisher, Clinical Psychologist
5. Take your date somewhere you’ll feel comfortable.
“You might think that you’re being a gentleman by letting your date decide where you go on your date, but women like to see that you can take control. Help cut through any nerves by arranging to meet up in familiar territory that will help you feel more comfortable.” – Nicolas Aujula, Relationship Coach and Therapist
6. Call her to confirm the date.
“Doctors and dentists do it; so should you. Since men usually don’t pick up the women they date, calling to confirm a date is pretty easy and puts the women at ease.” – Stef Safran, Matchmaking and Dating Expert
7. Look your best.
“A lot of guys don’t think about how they look before going on dates, even though women pay attention to the little details related to appearance. Make sure you are well-groomed (check for dirty fingernails, freshly apply deodorant, shower). Second, make sure your clothes match, aren’t wrinkled, and look decent on you.” –David Bennett, Dating Coach at The Popular Man
8. Confidence is key.
“The way you enter a room or share a glance are indicators of your confidence working for you or against you. When you feel odd or awkward people can pick up on that uneasiness which will equate to whether or not you are perceived as attractive. One of the best ways to make a good first impression is by showing your confidence.” – Denise Levy, Professional MatchMaker
9. Open doors and hold seats out.
“Women appreciate these old-school good manners. They also convey that you’re appreciative of her choosing to spend her time getting to know you.” – Erika Martinez, Psy.D. Licensed Psychologist
10. Turn off your phone.
“There’s nothing more annoying then phones going off while you’re trying to spend quality time with someone. Turn your phone off completely. If she knows that you’ve turned your phone off to focus entirely on the date, she’ll appreciate that you’re taking the time to engage with her fully.” – Nicolas Aujula, Relationship Coach and Therapist
11. Keep the conversation fun and flirty.
“Since guys tend to be very analytical, it’s easy for them to turn conversations into a fact-sharing session. Women find conversations like this boring. It’s fine to share facts, but make sure to add in humor, intrigue, and flirtatious overtones. This will make her excitedly hang on your every word.” -David Bennett, Dating Coach at The Popular Man
12. Avoid the ex conversation.
“Your date will not be interested and it can make things feel awkward. If your date does bring up the subject, try to keep answers short. Reassure her that your past is history and that you want to spend your time getting to know her instead.”– Nicolas Aujula, Relationship Coach and Therapist
13. Make your first few dates Action Dates.
“Most women aren’t dying to sit down for two hours to share a boring meal with a stranger, playing an awkward game of 20 questions. Instead, plan something more fun and adventurous. (Like bowling, hiking, kayaking.) Especially on the first few dates when impressions matter the most. Give them a date they’ll remember.”-David Bennett, Dating Coach at The Popular Man
14. Learn how to compliment.
“People put effort into getting ready for a date so take the time to compliment the other person and mean it! Not jus, ‘I like your dress’ but ‘I like how your dress brings out the color of your eyes.’ Always look for the best in others and it will bring out the best in you!”- Denise Levy, Professional MatchMaker
15. Keep it light hearted.
“Try to keep your conversation light-hearted. On your first date, you don’t want to get into an in-depth conversation about why you don’t enjoy your job, or other issues. Avoid talking about religion, politics, or recent news that’s controversial. Women want a guy who can make them laugh. Yes you do have to be serious sometimes, but in the early stages of dating, have some fun.”– Nicolas Aujula, Relationship Coach and Therapist
16. DO NOT talk about future plans during a first date.
“This is usually done out of lack of confidence hoping the girl wants to see you in the future. Women will feel this neediness. Just enjoy the date and if things go well, make future planes when you talk on the phone next.”– Radio Wright, Online Dating Expert
17. Leave a little mystery.
“When you are getting to know someone you do not want to lay all your cards out on the table or tell your entire life story. The sense of mystery keeps them coming back for more and creates a certain chemistry that will make you stand out from others.”- Denise Levy, Professional MatchMaker
18. Offer to make sure she gets to her cab, car, or her next destination.
“Make sure she gets in her car, cab, etc. safely. Women’s safety is important, showing her that you care about her, shows her that you are a gentleman.”- Stef Safran, Matchmaking and Dating Expert
19. Let her take the first step towards physical/sexual contact.
“This will help her feel like you care about her and not just her body and help her feel safe and that she’s in control of the pace you’re moving without pressure.”- Dr. Wyatt Fisher, Clinical Psychologist
20. Only say you will call her if you truly intend to.
“Women can handle rejection. More people complain about the flakiness and the ghosting. If you are not interested, don’t lead her on. After all, you never know if the next woman you date somehow knows her.”- Stef Safran, Matchmaking and Dating Expert

21. Don’t play games.
We get that you don’t want to seem needy, clingy, desperate, or overzealous. But if you’d like to see her again, just let her know. “You can weave it into the conversation at the end of the first date (e.g. ‘This was a great evening. Would you open to seeing each other again soon?’) If she says ‘yes’, then say, ‘Awesome. I’ll call you on ___ and set something up.’ Then follow through and call when you say you would.”- Erika Martinez, Psy.D. Licensed Psychologist

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12 Dating Tips That Will Transform Your Life

 Real talk: Dating is sometimes harder than it should be. After countless dinners and drinks, it can be tempting to throw in the towel and resign to nights of forever watching Netflix alone in your bed. But when dating is done right, it can be amazing, and those great dates often lead to great relationships. So consider this your dating playbook, with all the information you need to survive the first date and make sure there's a second one.

Go Beyond the Bar Scene
Sure, you might meet the love of your life while sipping gin and tonics, but wouldn't it be so much cooler to say you met at a mud run? You never know where you're going to meet the next person you date, so if you're only looking in one spot (like that bar where you're a regular) then you're missing out on tons of possible partners. We know plenty of couples who have met while standing in line at the grocery store, a Target parking lot, even a naked reality show. The takeaway? Love can crop up anywhere, so get out there and keep your eyes open.
Let Your Friends Set You Up
No one loves you quite like your friends do, so let them set you up with someone that they can vouch for. "It's better for single people to meet through friends because there's a familiarity and comfort that goes with that," says behavioral scientist Christie Hartman, Ph.D. "A friend setting you up means the guy is 'vetted' to some extent." So let them play matchmaker—but first, lay down some rules. Make it clear ahead of time that the way the date goes is totally not a reflection on your friend, or you, or the guy. Hey, sometimes chemistry is there, and sometimes it isn't. So unless your friend is Patti Stanger, remind her that it's no one’s fault if this goes horribly wrong. (But if it goes totally right, you should probably buy her a drink).
Consider Dating Your Friends
The term "friend zone" should totally be banished—in part, because your friends can sometimes make the best dates. Think about it: Someone you're already friends with is likely to have similar values, to know your background and your family, and to make you feel ultra comfortable with them. Plus, friendship is the foundation for any relationship, so having that bond established can be key, says relationship expert Jane Greer, Ph.D., author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship.
Choose the Right Dating Site
The Internet is a beautiful thing: It brought us Twitter, cat videos, Orange Is the New Black, and now, it can bring you love. But when you're ready to make the plunge into online dating, how do you decide which site to sign up for? We found a handy cheat sheet from digital matchmaker Julie Spira, who gave us the lowdown on 12 popular dating sites. Think about what it is you want out of an online dating experience—A hookup? A boyfriend? A marriage?—then choose the site that matches your interests, so you're not just wasting your time online (that's what the cat videos are for).
Focus On First Impressions
First dates can be overwhelming, so streamline your focus into making the first few moments count. It takes only 12 minutes for you to decide if you're interested in the other person (and for them to decide if they dig you) so bring your A-game the second you arrive. To make a stellar first impression, make eye contact, smile, and focus on what he's saying, according to Susan RoAne, author of How to Work a Room: The Ultimate Guide to Making Lasting Connections—In Person and Online. And don’t forget to check in with yourself, too! You might be so focused on making a flawless first impression that you forget to ask yourself if you’re even into the other person.
Don't Play It Cool on a Date
We've all been told that guys love the chase, but according to research, that's not exactly true. One study showed that men are more attracted to responsive women, and women who were kind and warm right off the bat. That doesn't mean being over-the-top eager—you don't have to laugh at his jokes if they're not funny—but it's definitely OK to respond to that text in a timely manner, or tell him how much fun you're having. Being kind is definitely a turn on, so forget what you’ve been told about playing it ice-cold.
Avoid Oversharing
Word-vomit happens, but one way to tank a first date is to admit how long you spent Google stalking him or accidentally blurt out, "Woah, you look exactly like my ex!" The censorship walls can come down after a little bit, but try to steer clear of these awkward comments on a first date, or we're guessing there won't be a second one.
Pay Attention to HOW You Talk to Each Other
It's more than just what you're saying—it's how you say it. One study showed that when men talk to a woman they find attractive, they tend to vary their vocal pitch from high to low tones (in a sing-songy way). If you're looking to analyze the long-term potential, pay attention to the types of words you both use. Another study suggested that people who use the same function words (maybe you both say "quite" and "tons" a lot) are more likely to couple up and stay together.
Follow Their Gaze
Is it love at first sight? It depends on where their eyeballs land. Research suggests that when someone feels a romantic connection, his or her gaze tends to linger on the other person's face. When they just feel sexual desire, their eyes tend to wander around the person's body. During the next date you're on, follow their gaze. If he's staring into your eyes all night, there’s a good chance he's really into you.
Don't Let Your Friends Ruin Your Vibe
Getting your friends' (and family's) opinion on your new beau is essential, but if you ask too soon, it could color your own feelings. One study showed that when opinions were framed differently—saying that "seven out of ten" people liked your date, versus "three out of ten" people didn't like him—it can seriously affect our own evaluation. So you might want to avoid asking for an outside opinion until you've gotten the chance to make one yourself.
If You're Not Into Him, Move On

Dating someone who you're just not into is a total waste of time. Be realistic with yourself: Are you embarrassed to call him your "boyfriend"? Has he met your friends? Would you rather be watching Netflix than talking to him? Are you only with him for fear of being single? These are all good signs that you're just not that into him, and you should peace out of this relationship. Trust us, being single is way better than being in a crappy relationship.
If At First You Don’t Succeed? Try, Try Again
We heard about a woman who committed to going on 100 dates this summer as a way of learning more about herself, and what she wants in a partner. While we don't think you necessarily need to do a dating marathon, it's often important to just get out there—especially if you feel like you’re in a rut. So when your date goes awry, or that relationship turns out to be a dud, don't give up. Your next amazing date might be right around the corner.

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